Ugly Couch Problem

When you have a house that is in constant state of remodeling/redecorating, it’s easy to live with ugly furniture; everything else is in shambles so why would you care about furniture?

When you have young children, it’s easy to live with ugly furniture; you patiently wait for the days when you can spend some good money on quality furniture.

Case in point: In the past year, my 4-year-old stepson has both drawn on our family room couch with PERMANENT MARKER and he has cut a 3-inch strip down the arm of our living room couch. I learned that dish soap and some elbow grease will remove permanent marker from microfiber, and box cutters these days come in odd shapes and sizes — a sharp object in disguise.

Most of you know that we’ve been in that constant state of remodeling for the last two years. Here’s my problem: What happens when the end of remodeling/redecorating is in sight, and your crappy furniture is clouding your vision?

You may have noticed Ugly Couch in this recent photo from a previous entry:

Isn’t the design to die for?

Barf. It’s totally ruining my imagination skills.

I try really, really hard not to get our ugly couches in photos, but inevitably most of our living happens in our living room, which means the 1990 design pops up in the background of a lot of our candid photos.

Awww, aren’t those kids just so precious? Hey, what’s that ugly thing in the background?

It’s a crappy couch problem. What a horrible eyesore! My eyes hurt just looking at it. If I stare long enough, I think they’ll burn out of their sockets! AHHH!!

Okay…I know I’m just being a big complainer. You’re thinking, “You’re crafty. You can sew now, remember? Slipcover it!”

Well, the thing is, I’ve tried. I made envelope-style covers for the back pillows. They miraculously made Ugly Couch look worse….and Jeff hated them. The thing I learned is that the patterned pillows actually take your focus away from the incredibly faded corduroy-style fabric that attracts lint covering the rest of the couch, so when you remove the distraction of the busy 1990 print, the entire couch looks…ugh….crappy.


We just can’t afford new couches… and even if we did find a way to afford it (we have contemplated layaway and such), we worry that they’ll immediately face ruin as our dog and kids trample them.

A few weeks ago, I received an email from the Better After blog that I follow. She tried out this Simply Spray upholstery paint and loved the results! The thought crossed my mind to try it out, but I’d rather not bother. However, it might be a great idea for anyone out there suffering from U.C.O. (Ugly Couch Ownership), whose fabric is in good shape but you want to have a different color.

Hopefully, some day, we can cure our ugly couch problem. Until then, stay tuned for further appearances by Ugly Loveseat and Ugly Couch!



2 thoughts on “Ugly Couch Problem

  1. This is hilarious and so true for mommy’s of little people. I recently got this slip cover (Maytex Piped Twill 2-Piece Slipcover Sofa) and it actually works well (better than others I’ve tried). Only prob is the back part slips up a little so I’m going to add a little (or a lot) velcro… and then I recovered my throw pillows. It made a big difference. We are in the middle of a move but once we are settled I will probably throw some pics up on fb so you can judge for yourself.

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